The Horror Library - The Best in Horror Fiction

Mini Movie Reviews
By R.J. Cavender

'Now, I don't want to give anything away'...
Mini Movie Reviews
by RJ Cavender

SEPTEMBER 2005

RATINGS

- PUTRID TRASH

- THAT WHICH DOESN'T KILL YOU...

- EH. NOT TOO BAD. PASSABLE.

- VERY GOOD, IF NOT GREAT.

- INCREDIBLE, POSSIBLY A CLASSIC!

The Locals (2003)

Now, I don't want to give anything away, but...this was a very inventive and suspenseful indy thriller from New Zealand. It was fast paced, intelligent, and completely kept you guessing what would come at you next. I even jumped a few times. Thoroughly enjoyable, one movie I would highly recommend. Not necessarily for the gore-hounds. But it really had a lot of heart, some great twists, and a great script.

I Drink Your Blood (1970)

Now, I don't want to give anything away, but...this was one of the most entertaining 70's b-movies I've ever seen. Sure, some parts are bad. The special effects are horrible. But, the plot and action are just incredibly wicked fun! Would have been a great drive-in feature. The DVD has lots and lots of extra's including a long list of other 70's and 80's horror/exploitation film trailers. What a gruesomely fun little late night treat.

Malevolence (2004)

Now, I don't want to give anything away, but...this was an unexpectedly professional and pleasantly grizzly little film. This borrows much from other slasher films, but the way they pull it off really makes it work in the best possible way. Not really profound or groundbreaking, but an edge-of-your-seat and excitingly energetic romp.

Suicide (2004)

Now, I don't want to give anything away, but...this disturbing German indy has a look and feel all of it's own. Either you'll love it or hate it. The basic plot: 'a young couple embark on a film project meant to document people in the act of committing suicide'. It was very difficult to watch at times, as the scenes feel very realistic and this movie doesn't play for laughs or jumps. It slowly draws you in and many moments in this film are very powerful and starkly realistic. Would make a good companion piece for "The Last Horror Movie".

Dark Water (2002)

Now, I don't want to give anything away, but...I'll wager this original Japanese version of "Dark Water" from Hideo Nakata is much better than the American remake. I haven't yet seen the remake, but after watching this first version I just might skip the redux. Dark and atmospheric, with a deliberate slow pace, this film may turn off certain viewers if they have short attention spans. But, as long as you're not expecting "The Ring", this film will probably not let you down. Not as 'scary' as it is just an interesting story and a great looking film.

Love Object (2004)

Now, I don't want to give anything away, but...this film is just plain creepy, funny, and really inventive. I guess it all depends on your sense of humor. But, for me, this dark comedy hits the mark and leaves a lasting impression. It's a bit offbeat, but the acting and script are just top notch. It's also takes a moment to make a bit of a commentary on the world we live in, art, love and obsession. A very odd and darkly comedic effort.

Nekromantik (1987)
Now, I don't want to give anything away, but...I've heard all sorts of reports of this film throughout the years. Certainly not the most shocking film I've ever seen, but if the gore effects were a little more convincing it'd be close. The acting is pretty bad, the effects are too. I mean, not bad latex...just obviously animal parts. There's a good deal of animal cruelty in this film too. Really no reason for this at all except for shock value. Overall, I was rather let down by this film. But, it does have it's moments. Shocking and gory? Yes. Entertaining? Not really.

Manson Family Movies (1984)

Now, I don't want to give anything away, but...this movie had moments of sheer brilliance totally interrupted by long stretches of stupidity and nearly unwatchable acting. Imagine if there was home movie footage found of the Manson Family living on their ranch. Now, imagine if that footage was silent film shot on old 8mm stock, with a handheld and with Manson-esq acoustic hippy-dippy guitar work. The music is nearly constant, and there is absolutely no dialogue at all. It's lulling, it's odd...it just ends up being dull after a half-hour. This one was originally made in 1984, and my guess is it was probably a student film. The aged and scratched look of the film is great. Some of the locations are really great, and they look as authentic as you could get. The idea is pretty unique. The actual film, though...pretty unbearable.

Zodiac Killer (2004)

Now, I don't want to give anything away, but...you might as well save your time and disregard this one all together. It had an interesting premise, but the script and the acting were just horrible. It also looked like it was filmed with a home video camera and then just polished up in post production. I watched it all the way through, but only because I do reviews for this site. Otherwise, it would have simply succumbed to the 'half-hour rule' and been turned off early.

Cursed (2004)

Now, I don't want to give anything away, but...this one was another film that I wished I could have turned off after a half-hour. Wes Craven made this? Really? Whoa. It certainly wasn't a horror movie, and it wasn't funny enough to qualify as a teen comedy. The only upside I found was the inclusion of Christina Ricci and a (really) quick cameo by Shannon Elizabeth (don't blink). Maybe next time Wes will bring us something with a little more depth and substance.

Dead Creatures (2000)

Now, I don't want to give anything away, but...imagine a militantly-feminist zombie film. Now imagine it looked like it was filmed by the BBC. Now throw in some dry dialogue and a good deal of gore and body parts. Yeah, it didn't work for me either. It was like an exercise in patience.