September 2006 Issue The Horror Library, your Haunted Home for Horror Fiction, Dark Art, Horror Games, Movie Reviews, Book Reviews, Non-Fiction, Alternative Music, Horror Authors, Horror Short Fiction and featuring The Terrible Twelve - RJ Cavender, Bailey Hunter, Boyd E Harris, Megg Roper, Jason Beirens, CJ Hurtt, Eric Stark, Cordelia Snow, Chris Perridas, Curt Mahr, Stephen Sommerville, M Louis Dixon, Kerry Drummond
'Now, I don't want to give anything away'...Mini Movie Reviews by RJ Cavender
Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004) Now, I don't want to give anything away...but, 'Resident Evil: Apocalypse' stands as one of my favorite of the 'new zombie' movies made in the last few years. I can't see WHY the critics tore it apart. It has a solid plot, tons of action, and the direction and special effects are top notch. Plus, it was better than the first one. And...Milla. Let's not forget Milla.
The Village (2004) Now, I don't want to give anything away...but, 'The Village' was just a mistake. It's about time that M. Night Shyamalan learns that a movie cannot be based upon a giant plot twist alone. Let alone, a LAME plot twist. I fell asleep three times trying to make it through this one. And by the time the twist was revealed, I couldn't care less. He once made watchable films, now it seems likes he just wants to make films that irritate people. One of the dullest 'horror' films I've ever seen. I felt totally cheated when the credits rolled. I even heard people 'BOO' in the theater. I can't remember the last time I heard that!
Dawn of the Dead (2004) Now, I don't want to give anything away...but, the updated version of 'Dawn of the Dead' was horrific fun to watch! While it's not so much a remake of the original, it stands on it's own as an homage to the zombie genre. And, what's a better social comment on consumerism in our times than ZOMBIES at the MALL? Not as inventive or creepy as the George Romero classic, but as remakes go...this one packs a punch or two.
Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004) Now, I don't want to give anything away...but, 'Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed' was a fun little pic to pop into the DVD player. Sure, it's not HORROR...but it's a total blast from the past for fans who grew up with the cartoon! Not as many 'in jokes' as the first one, but I had a great time watching it nonetheless. Some great extras on the DVD too!
Passion of the Christ (2004) Now, I don't want to give anything away...but, 'Passion of the Christ' was hands-down one of the most violent films I've seen all year. It got old really, really quick. The special effects were GREAT, but a dopey plot and mediocre acting(and WHAT'S UP with the Aremaic!)...all add up to a barely watchable flick. This WAS a horror film, right? I hear the book is better.
Godsend (2004) Now, I don't want to give anything away...but 'Godsend' was lukewarm at best. It had me hooked at the beginning, and I followed it to the end...which just didn't satisfy. It's fun to see an interesting premise go straight into the toilet, though. Greg Kinnear does a satisfactory job, but WHAT was DE NIRO doing in this film? Totally miscast...and a waste of his talent. Next time, read the script in advance Robert D.
House of the Dead (2003) Now, I don't want to give anything away...but, 'House of the Dead' was quite possibly one of the worst films made in the last five years. I absolutely hated this one, which was disappointing...as I'm a huge fan of the game. Just another movie tie-in looking to cash in on a product. It looks like it was written, cast, and filmed all within the same week. Save your time and just skip this little crapper.
Secret Window (2004) Now, I don't want to give anything away...but, do you remember when Stephen King used to write GREAT stories to base films off of? I do. 'Secret Window' is not one of them. Sure, it's passable...and the acting is solid. But, it's no fun when you can guess the entire movie within the first twenty minutes. King is capable of so much better. Plus, the TWIST is kind of...overused. Worth a .99 rental if nothing more. Just don't expect too much, you'll be let down.
My Little Eye (2002) Now, I don't want to give anything away...but, 'My Little Eye' is my NEW favorite movie! Wow. I ONLY wish I could tell you all about it. Just imagine what it'd be like if the cast of the reality series BIG BROTHER had to stay together MUCH longer with MUCH bigger stakes. It blew me away, and I don't impress easily! BE SURE to catch the extra's as well, some ingenious inside stuff in there!
The Park: Special Edition (2003) Now, I don't want to give anything away...but, 'The Park: Special Edition' has just made it onto my TOP 5 WORST FILMS EVER list. Only watch it for some interesting special effects, if at all. WHAT a horribly made stupid little film. Everything about it is derivative and boring. The extra's didn't even have subtitles...they were all in Cantonese.
Taking Lives (2004) Now, I don't want to give anything away...but, I found 'Taking Lives' to be an effective little thriller. Nothing ground breaking, mind you, but if you're willing to suspend logic for an hour-and-a-half you'll probably enjoy this. Some solid performances, some nice cinematography, and an inventive premise adds up to a pretty decent watch for a Sunday afternoon.
The Butterfly Effect: Director's Cut (2004) Now, I don't want to give anything away...but, I found 'The Butterfly Effect' to be a damn fine film. Critics have blasted it, but it's one of those films that you'll either love or hate. The premise takes some imagination, but if you can just get past that it's a great tale of choices and the effect those choices have upon the world around you. While Ashton Kutcher didn't impress me as much as the script itself, some incredible performances are put in by Ethan Suplee and Eric Stoltz that are not to be missed.
Ginger Snaps (2000)
Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed (2004)
Ginger Snaps Back: The Beginning, (2004) Now, I don't want to give anything away...but, The 'Ginger Snaps' Trilogy is one of the better ones out there. Inventive characters really drive these films, and I really enjoyed the understated performances by the female leads Emily Perkins and Katharine Isabelle. Something different for fans of lycanthropy!
Funny Games (German, 1997) Now, I don't want to give anything away...but, 'Funny Games' was one of the hardest films I've made it all the way through...and loved! It's not for everyone though. It's quite brutal. For this one, I'll put the synopsis up...as 'I don't want to give anything away'.
'After settling into their holiday routine, a family is visited by a pair of clean-cut young men in tennis whites and gloves, who inexplicably turn ruthless and brutal, forcing the family into playing their 'funny games.' (Courtesy of Netflix) One of the most vicious films I've every seen.
Elephant (2003) Now, I don't want to give anything away...but, Gus Van Sant's film 'Elephant' really affected me. It's not a 'horror' film by any stretch of the imagination, but it is sadly and undeniably horrific. It's not for everyone, and will even irritate many people in the fact that it answers none of the questions that it poses. But, it's a visually stunning film and one that you won't easily forget.
Shivers (1975) Now, I don't want to give anything away...but, Director David Cronenberg's first feature film 'Shivers' still packs a punch even when watched nearly 30 years later. While not perfect, and undeniably outdated, it still gives us a portal into the horror movies of the past and has quite a few shocking moments even by today's standards. Recommended to anyone who'd like to see part of the evolution of modern horror films.
Cannibal! The Musical (1996) Now, I don't want to give anything away...but, I think the title says it all. From the makers of SOUTH PARK comes a totally tasteless take on the modern musical, with a little gore thrown in for good measure. More music than murder and mayhem, but highly recommended for those with a sick sense of humor!
The Eye (Japanese,2002)
Now, I don't want to give anything away...but, I hear 'The Eye' is soon getting an American update. I'm sure it'll be just as successful as 'The Ring' remake. Reminiscent of both 'The Sixth Sense' and 'Blink', but it adds a few new inventive elements and twists. One of my favorite asian horror flicks!
Curdled (1996) Now, I don't want to give anything away...but, 'Curdled' is a great little dark comedy. It stars Angela Jones as rather morbid girl so obsessed with a serial killer that she takes a job at a forensic cleaning service in hopes of figuring out his crimes. I highly recommend the new DVD packaging, as it contains the original short film that spawned the full length version. A one-of-kind little indy flick!
The Last Broadcast (1998) Now, I don't want to give anything away...but, 'The Last Broadcast' is NOTHING even close to 'The Blair Witch Project'...which it seems to get compared to a lot. Well, as least that's what they're hoping you'll believe from reading the back of the movie box. This 'film' was nearly unwatchable. I've seen better student films from high-schoolers. Skip this one and see 'My Little Eye'!
