September 2006 Issue The Horror Library, your Haunted Home for Horror Fiction, Dark Art, Horror Games, Movie Reviews, Book Reviews, Non-Fiction, Alternative Music, Horror Authors, Horror Short Fiction and featuring The Terrible Twelve - RJ Cavender, Bailey Hunter, Boyd E Harris, Megg Roper, Jason Beirens, CJ Hurtt, Eric Stark, Cordelia Snow, Chris Perridas, Curt Mahr, Stephen Sommerville, M Louis Dixon, Kerry Drummond
Random Questions sent to Mr. Bellows, the first creation of God
By Jason R. Beirens
Is the answer to the Universe really 27? 42, not 27.
Why is it that if we are like God that we want to bash each other\'s brains in? You are modeled after God, not like God. There is a difference, and the whole free will thing comes into play, and the few jerks ruin it for everybody.
Is it more important for us to Love or create Art? Depends on what you are better at.
Are people the same, really, as they were before they discovered fire? I know we smell better, but are we nicer, smarter, more interesting, less interesting, prettier? Oh, you are better now, not only was the smell awful, but you all have, believe it or not have gotten smarter. As a species to make an analogy, you are around the second grade,
In Latin cultures, they name baby boys after Jesus. Is this acceptable or will they all go to hell?
It is just a name, names are names, words are words. What is meant is what is ‘judged’.
Who or what created God?
God did. I wasn’t there, so I don’t know exactly, but I believe the story God told me.
Is there more than one universe? And if there is, were they all at one time a whole?
Many stacked atop each other, separated by veils of light and sound. They are a whole, just different parts of the whole.
If anyplace, where do black holes lead?
Areas where matter is condensed to the Nth degree. Not very nice places, very little leg room.
Are we all just an elaborate science experiment being conducted by some unknown entity?
No, I know God. The entity is known, at least by those who want to know.
What came first, the chicken or the egg?
The ancestor to the chicken.
How heavy was the cross that Jesus bore?
Lighter then it could have been, and heavier then you could ever imagine.
Why must all the great musicians die young?
You are going to hate me for the answer, but they are stupid kids who don’t learn from others mistakes.
Was the first walk on the moon a genuine article?
Yes.
How many light-years away is the closest intelligent life?
I don’t know how far away is someone beside you?
Is Arnold Schwarzenegger an alien?
To the U.S, yes. And in the real way you meant it, no, the child of aliens though.
Is Tupac Shakur dead or alive?
Dead, along with Elvis and Bigfoot.
Is Rosie O\'Donnell the Antichrist?
No, just annoying. Sad really, she used to be funny.
If there ever was such a thing as the big bang, then what (if anything) was going on before it?
The time before the big bang was busy. Everything had to be formed from unformed matter, the angels and I were hot footing it about trying to get everything ready, then God whistled and it began.
Why is childhood an illusion that I miss?
Childhood wasn’t an illusion, but why you miss it is because it was a time you had no responsibilities and everything given to you. You want that again, and really who wouldn’t?
How in the hell is Keith Richards still alive?
He’s a mummy, essentially, and we all know how long they live.
Why are women and men hardwired so very differently from one another? And don\'t give me the pre-historical Hunter-Gatherer excuse either.
Men and women need to be, if you were all the same things would be so much less interesting and the go forth and multiply thing would have fallen by the wayside long ago.
Where can a guy get a beer around here?
The nearest store, or bar. While you’re out, get me a red bull. Thanks.
Will humankind one day colonize the Milky Way and beyond?
I sure hope so. It is very pretty. I don’t know what is to come though, only what is and was too many variables to know the future.
Why have we as a country become insatiable consumerists around the holidays? Are we bred to be gluttons, or just comfortably stupid? And can we reasonably ever hope to transcend such a voracious round?
Americans, and people in general like stuff. Bigger stuff, better stuff, and better places to put there stuff. George Carlin said it better, ask him. As for bred to be gluttons, only if you want to be,
Who shot J.R.?
No one, it was a dream… and a TV show.
Why must my dog sniff around so much before finding a spot satisfactory enough for him to let a poop? Is this some bastardized form of cruel and unusual punishment?
I don’t know your dog. So I don’t know.
Why must your dog sniff everyone\'s crotch? I don’t have a dog.
Thank you and I hope to do this again someday.
