The Horror Library - The Best in Horror Fiction

The Demon on the Couch
By Jason R. Beirens

The demon walked calmly into the house, looked around for a second, and seeing no one home sat down on the couch and turned on the television.
The family came home later that night to find a ten-foot demon asleep on their flowered sofa. The demon was sucking his thumb and muttering something the father was sure was demon speak. The father wanted to kill it, like it must have wanted to do to them, but the mother said,
"It looks sweet lying on the couch like that, and if maybe they were nice to it, it would be nice back."
The mother walked to the linen closet got a blanket and covered the demon up. The family, which coincidently consisted of The Mother, the Father, the Son, and the Daughter, after making sure the demon was warm and cozy, made their way up to their rooms and had a good sleep.
In the middle of the night the demon awoke, as he needed to use the rest room, stumbled his way towards the bathroom that was located near the kitchen, and did his business. The demon returned to the couch as he found it surprisingly comfortable, and sat down to get further rest. At this time he noticed the blanket. It was a large thick cotton poly blend blanket that was covered in little red sailboats and blue smiling fish.
The demon looked behind him towards the stairs, up to where the rooms were, he was sure. An urge to kill the family came and went with no action, and the demon simply went back to sleep.
In the morning the Mother woke the demon by prodding him with a wooden spoon. The demon responded with a loud roar, as fire sprouted from his nose, and burnt the spoon to a nub. The Mother only looked cross at having her spoon burnt and then said simply,
"Would you like some breakfast? We have hash browns and bacon, and a few eggs." The demon looked up at the woman and tasting no fear from her, he said he would love some bacon, but that he was not a fan of hash browns.
The Mother and the Demon walked into the kitchen, where the rest of the family waited. The Father sat reading his paper, and casting narrow eyed glances at the demon. The Son and the Daughter sat quietly stirring their egg yolks with a fork.
"Sit down then Demon," said the Mother; "I will make you a plate. So no hash browns, correct?" The Demon shook its head.
A few seconds passed and the Mother placed a plate full of food in front of the Demon. The Mother then waddled over to her chair and sat down. The Father folded his paper and placed it to the side, the children put their hands in their laps and looked to the demon, whom the Mother then turned to.
"Would you like to say grace?" The Demon fought back a laugh, and then noticing the seriousness of the Mothers look, swallowed the giggle in his throat, and asked,
"Do I have to mention his name?", the Demon pointed to the sky as he said the words.
"I understand if you don't want to", said the Mother, the Father scoffed, and the children smiled wide.
"Then if I don't have to mention the name, then I would love to." They all folded their arms across their laps, and the Demon did his best to bless the food
"Thank you for the food it is appreciated
I am sure the food is good and well prepared
Now let us eat of the things of the Earth."
"That was lovely", said the Mother, "thank you."
The father put his pipe in his mouth and looked in his pockets for a lighter, or a match. Noticing this the Demon extended his hand and rubbed his thumb and forefinger together, a flame sprouted forth. The Father accepted and took a few puffs from his pipe. A smile at last grew across his face.
The children's bus then arrived outside, and honked its horn alerting the children to its arrival. The father then excused himself, and made his way to his car and then to his job at the accounting office. The Father kissed the mother on the cheek on his way out the door.
"Well, what shall we do first then?" Said the Mother, "The kitchen needs a good scrubbing down don't you think? Would you please give me a hand?" The Demon looked at her confused, for a moment, but then agreed to help.
After only ten minutes they had the kitchen spotless.
"Now lets move onto the rest of the house shall we? Would you like to clean the upstairs, and I will get the down stairs or vice versa?"
The Demon replied he was more comfortable nearer the Earth, then nearer the sky, for obvious reasons. The Mother smiled and then told him to clean what needed it, and to put away, things like his blanket. She then made her way upstairs, whistling as she did.
The Demon cleaned happily and to its surprise founds itself whistling as well. The Demon got the hang of the vacuum quicker then it thought it would, and lifted the couch with ease. The Demon found itself having a good time.
Noontime came and there was a knock at the door. The Mother rushed down and answered it. It was her girlfriend from across the street.
"Well are we going to go shopping for shoes? I was waiting for your call."
The Mother apologized as her friend noticed the Demon. She began a scream, but the Mother covered her mouth, and put her index finger up to her lips. A sound of air escaping wafted softly in the air.
"It is a doll, it has been helping around the house, and doesn't the house look nice?" The Friend agreed it looked marvelous, and asked
"When did the family get a Demon?" The Mother said that the Demon had arrived last night before they came home from the fair.
"We found him asleep on the couch, I covered him with a blanket, and we all went to bed. Father was sure he was here to kill us, but I assured him that mustn't be the case." The Demon just stared at the two women.
"Well are we going shopping for shoes then?" Asked the Friend.
"Of Course", the Mother turned to the Demon, "I am afraid you will have to stay here though, as we can't have you scaring the children, and women in the stores. Imagine the panic", said the Mother as she turned smiling to her Friend, her hand cupping one cheek.
"You can stay and watch the television, and please feel free to make yourself a sandwich; there are cold cuts in the fridge, please don't use all of them, and also please clean up after yourself, I would hate to have wasted an entire morning cleaning."
With that the Mother left with her friend leaving the Demon alone in the house. It made itself a pastrami sandwich, ate it quietly without saying grace, and then went into the living room and turned on the television. On the screen was his boss,
"Why isn't the family dead yet?" It screamed. The Demon answered,
"They don't deserve to die. I will not kill them and neither will you. Or any other demon for that matter, they are kind."
"That's it! You are fired! Don't bother coming back." The Demon frowned, and turned off the television. The demon felt depressed and tired so he took a nap.
The nudging of the Boy and the Father awakened the Demon.
"Get up then, we don't want to miss the game." The Demon sat up and rubbed his eyes,
"I got fired, for not destroying your family. I am banished now as well."
The Father turned to the Boy, the Mother walked in at that moment as well,
"Mother", said the Father, "The Demon is going to be staying with us now. He got fired. Is that all right?" The Mother smiled,
"Of course, he is a doll, and he helps fine around the house." The Mother placed a hand on the demons shoulder, "Oh dear, did you see my new shoes aren't they lovely?"
The Father, The Boy, and the Demon agreed that they were.
The Daughter came down the stairs dressed very finely just then,
"How do I look?" She asked, and then added, "I have a date with the captain of the football team."
Beautiful was the resounding answer.
When a knock at the door came, the Demon was the one to answer it. It was the captain of the football team, upon seeing the Demon he turned milk white, the Daughter ran to the door,
"Hi! Oh flowers for me", the bouquet was slumping in his hands. She took the flowers and ran to his car.
The Demon met eyes with the captain of the football team,
"Treat her good and have her back by ten, or else." The young man then ran backwards towards his car, jumped in and started it up and drove away as fast as he could.
"Slow down", the Demon called after them. "Kids", said the Demon, shaking his head as he shut the door. He looked up at the family who were sitting happily watching the game on the television. He sat down on the couch, and watched as well.
The Demon had his room set up in the Fathers den. The Demon and the Father put all the stuff that wasn't needed in the shed in the backyard.
After a week the neighbors knew enough to not be afraid of the Demon and he was able to walk around the streets.
Two weeks after the Demon arrived an Angel walked calmly into the house looking for the Demon, to return him to where he had come from. The Angel finding no one in the house decided to take a nap on the couch, as it looked rather comfortable, and within minutes the Angel was asleep. The family came home from the movies saw the Angel asleep on the couch. The wings twitching as it dreamt, the Demon took a blanket from the linen closet and covered it up.