The Horror Library - The Best in Horror Fiction

Mini Movie Reviews
By R.J. Cavender

Mini Movie Reviews
by RJ Cavender

May 2006

RATINGS

- PUTRID TRASH

- THAT WHICH DOESN'T KILL YOU...

- EH. NOT TOO BAD. PASSABLE.

- VERY GOOD, IF NOT GREAT.

- INCREDIBLE, POSSIBLY A CLASSIC!

Now, I don't want to give anything away...but

Slither (2006)
Now, I don't want to give anything away...but this movie is the most fun I've had with a 'monster movie' in a long while! It was campy, it was scary, it was fast paced (once the first half-hour of setup was out of the way)...altogether, probably one of the most recommended horror films in the last five years. This film offered some new additions to the zombie genre while retaining an identity of it's own. I really can't recommend it enough. A future cult classic, for sure!

Three... Extremes (2005)
Now, I don't want to give anything away...but this Asian trilogy packs a triple dosage of extreme horror. I also like the idea that three different directors, one from China, one from Japan, and one from Korea each contributed to this piece, which I think lends a unique quality to the overall film and some variety to the piece as a whole. One thing about Asian cinema, it really pulls out the stops for the horror pieces. Some of the subjects in this film you'd not see an American director come within a mile of. All in all, a great viewing experience. Not at all for the squeamish or easily shocked!

Black Christmas (1974)
Now, I don't want to give anything away...but I have no idea how I missed seeing this movie until now! What a creepy flick! Sure, you might have seen some of the devices used in this film throughout the late 70's and early 80's...but I would chance to gamble that those ideas were stolen directly from this film! I'd venture to say that both "Halloween" and "When a Stranger Calls" owe quite a bit to this movie. And, for a bit of trivia, the director of this little gem is Bob Clark. Does that name sound familiar? He also directed "A Christmas Story", amongst other films. And, I even saw some of the same effects and ideas running through a few of the shots in this film. Never a minute of downtime, and while dated...it's amazing how contemporary this film seems at some times. Great performances by a young Margot Kidder and Olivia Hussey as well. Creepy, relevant to the genre, and an absolute obscure classic!

Blood Feast (1963)
Now, I don't want to give anything away...but if you haven't watched this classic gore flick, you're absolutely missing out on your Horror History 101. Sure, it may pale in comparison to our 'show everything in shocking detail' horror market of today. But, back when these early splatter films premiered they were at the center of a lot of heated controversy and debate. Directed by Herschell Gordon Lewis, 'The Godfather of Gore' this film returns us to a simpler time when a small handful of filmmakers had the guts enough to film movies the way they wanted, even under the fear of having work banned from theaters and limited to small runs and midnight playings. Comparatively speaking, sure...it's no "Hostel" or "Wolf Creek", but without this film and other later work by Lewis, we might not have movies like these modern descendants to view. A classic.

Two Thousand Maniacs (1964)
Now, I don't want to give anything away...but since I'm reviewing two Herschell Gordon Lewis films in this installment, I'm going to compare them a little at this point. I liked this film, sure. Some really creative kills in this film, and some often imitated ideas. But, this film seemed to play a lot for laughs at times, and I think that took away some of the shock of the violence. Certainly worth seeing if you're interested in the history of horror films. Probably the first "funny" horror film out there, although the jokes mostly miss the mark now days.

Masters of Horror: Stuart Gordon: Dreams in the Witch House (2006)
Now, I don't want to give anything away...but this installment of "Masters of Terror" just left me kind of bored. I had a vague idea already about the H.P. Lovecraft story it was based on, but parts of this hour long DVD just seemed to drag. I think much more could have been done with this. I certainly expected more.

Masters of Horror: John Carpenter: Cigarette Burns (2006)
Now, I don't want to give anything away...but this DVD just didn't work for me either. It seems, at least compared to the other "Masters of Horror" episode I saw, that these stories are just too weak for the aspirations the collection is setting. I mean, these are supposed to be the MASTERS...so, these stories and short films should be the very best of what they can do. It's sad, as the first half of this story was intense and gripping. But, by the second half I was just losing interest fast. I really loved the idea and the concept, but the entire look of it just didn't feel right to me. Something was off. This could have gone into such a better direction. I'll blame the story for that. Maybe Mr. Carpenter's next work will be better Always been a fan, but this one was kind of a let down.

KatieBird* Certifiable Crazy Person (2004)
Now, I don't want to give anything away...but this film was certainly entertaining, but seemed to miss the mark by a good deal for me. First, let me say that the editing and effects are pretty cool on this. Lots of interesting shots and some really ambitious digital work But, that's about where my interest waned. The script realy brough nothing new to the genre, except for maybe a gender flop...and some of the acting is somewhat wooden. Worth a watch, but nothing as special as it aspired to be, I'm assuming.

House on the Edge of the Park (La Casa sperduta nel parco) (1980)
Now, I don't want to give anything away...but this was just a basic rerun of "Last House on the Left" with a new director, some venom taken out of the script, and the same creepy leading man David Hess. Probably one of the worst of the whole 'exploitation film' set. As overly violent and blatantly oversexed it tried to be, this was just a flop of a film. Unwatchable to most.

Fear of Clowns (2004)
Now, I don't want to give anything away...but have you ever watched a film and almost immediately forgotten every last thing about it? Maybe I'm blocking it out intentionally. It's hard to say, but I watched this movie about a week ago and only have a very vague recollection of it. And all I remember was bad. I'm always up for a 'so bad it's good' sort of flick, but this one just wasn't one of those. A promising premise, lots of people are afraid of clowns. But, this one wouldn't scare anyone. At least that's what I remember from what I haven't completely blocked out.

2001 Maniacs (2006)
Now, I don't want to give anything away...but I decided to not watch this one, and returned it to Netflix the day I got it. Between ordering it and receiving it, I heard an interview with the director of the first "Blood Feast", Herschell Gordon Lewis. In the interview, he spoke briefly about this sequel and how he wasn't even contacted or consulted about it or anything. I think that's wrong. He wrote and directed the first one, and to not contact him and want to involve him on the project is just plain wrong. So, I decided not to even bother with this. You can't steal a guy's idea and then not at least try to make amends. I'm not interested in supporting something like that. So, I sent my copy back unwatched.
This one doesn't even get a SKULL