The Horror Library - The Best in Horror Fiction

Marbles All Gone
By Jason R. Beirens

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I seem to have lost it. My mind. I seem to have lost my mind. So much, much to much has been...has been going on lately. So much going on. I am working three jobs, though that ...that isn't new. I have been writing again. Seriously this time. I think I may be good. I hope I am. I have been going to the shrink. If I didn't go to the shrink I could probably quit one of the jobs, but...that, I don't want that. Idle hands y'know. If I'm busy all the time, I don't have time to think about the past.

What? What was that?

When do I write?

At breaks at work, just before bed, in the morning. I fill the empty moments with words, someone else's words coming out through me. The characters speak. They say what they want and do what needs to get done. I...I just...

I read when I don't write. A writer reads voraciously. Any good writer worth their pens, reads a book a month at the very least. I read a lot. I don't leave empty spots in my day, ever.

What was I taking about?

Oh, I am have been busy, more busy than ever before. Much too much busy, but, heh, heh. I like busy.

I bought a puppy. I named him, or not him, he was fixed when I bought him from the pound. I named it, after you.

I brought little Johnny to visit you.

Come here...come on, Lil' John. Lil' John! What happened. What happened. Oh no! Lil' John. He must have busted his neck. I hit him this morning, just before coming to see you. He, he uhm...he took a leak on the rug. Our rug. I didn't hit him hard, but he is just a puppy. I...oh dear. His tongue is hanging out. I wondered why he didn't whine the whole way over.

Do you think the pound will take him back? I doubt it. Here I'll leave him with you.

Oh no! I just noticed the time.

I gotta go.

Gonna be late for work if I don't go.

Oh, here let me get that for you. The rope around your arms were getting loose.
Can't have that.

Tighten them right up. I don't want you to get out into that dangerous ol' world out there. If you stay down here, nice and safe. I promise...I promise...

Shut up!

Stop moaning. The walls are thin...but moaning won't do no good.

STOP!

STOP!

STO-

Johnny!

Oh no. I hit you too hard didn't I?

Let me get that blood. Don't want you to be dirty. Good you stopped moaning. Your eyes have gone funny. It must be too light down here.

Let me get the light.

I'll leave you and Lil' John to get acquainted.

I love you Johnny. I love you so much. I'm gonna go write about how much I love you.